You're an Unlucky Man, Sterling Brown

[lethalweapon3]

I still got "MAULED BY A PACK OF GNOMES" and "STUNG BY MURDER HORNETS" on his bingo card.

~lw3

[JayBirdHawk]

Wow!

Quote

The Rockets arrived in Miami on Sunday night after a 114-110 victory over the Magic in Orlando. Instead of staying in downtown Miami, Houston stayed in nearby Coral Gables, a strategic logistical decision made at least in part to ensure the roster was kept away from Miami’s notorious nightlife ahead of a back-to-back against the Heat on Monday night. As the clock ticked closer to midnight on Sunday, multiple Rockets players — around a handful or more — took the short 20-minute trip to the Booby Trap strip club. What occurred into the early hours of Monday was described as terrible, unfortunate and dangerous.

 

Sources said Sterling Brown entered the wrong sprinter van on his way out of the club and had a heated exchange of words with three or more individuals who appeared to possess the sprinter at the time. It escalated into all of those individuals jumping Brown, physically beating him up, hitting him in the head with a bottle and leaving blood everywhere, sources told The Athletic. One source said the individuals cracked Brown’s head with the bottle, while another said once Brown was struck in the back of the head during the altercation, it led to him having a very hazy memory of the event. He was admitted into the hospital after 7 a.m.

 

– via Shams Charania, Kelly Iko, Shams Charania and Kelly Iko @ The Athletic

 

[lethalweapon3]

The aftermath of Rockets outings to the strip clubs are like:

DOCTORS: "We regret to inform you that Mr. Brown has caught a case of COVID."

ROCKET STAFF: "That's all? Yippee! Air fives, everybody!"

 

~lw3

[lethalweapon3]

Somebody please promise me Danuel House wasn't the ringleader of the trip from The U to The Booby Trap. Where is Tyson Chandler when you really need him?

 

~lw3

[lethalweapon3]

Ah, yes, the ole Booby Tank trick.

Minnesota, you have 24 hours to respond.

~lw3

[lethalweapon3]

If it's not too late, I'm told Minnesota is summoning former Viking Fred Smoot, of "Love Boat" fame, to arrange the entertainment for the Timberwolves' next visit to Miami.

TANKING ROCKETS FANS: "What? No suspensions? C'mon, the league office is soft!"

~lw3

[kg01]

Haha, league was like, "Yeah we could fine you but ... we seen that video, homie, you've paid enough."

Speaking of the video, from the sounds of things, this whole thing happened at like 7AM so the whuppin' apparently provided some nice morning drive entertainment.