“We need to do everything we can to keep him.”

Sorry, Kemba Walker, not you. Sit down, Gerald Henderson. Michael Kidd-Gilchrist? Ha ha ha, you make me laugh!

And stop looking over your shoulder, Josh McRoberts…. because Michael Jordan is talking about you.

Now, when I say “Franchise,” you say “McBob!” “Franchise!” **crickets**

“The success of the team is McRoberts and how he can connect the dots,” said Jordan. “Hopefully he doesn’t opt out of his contract. We need to do everything we can to keep him. “

To be fair to His Errness, the Charlotte Bobcats owner has made many moves and declarations over the years more likely to beget a Not Sure If Serious Face than even this. You can go all the way back to Kwame Brown if you want to, or just stop at Adam Morrison. Think fast: can you name Jordan’s choice for head coach last season, AND cite where he is now? Exactly.

Hitching the near-term success of the 3-3 Bobcats, tonight’s Atlanta Hawks opponent (7:00 PM Eastern, SportSouth, FoxSportsCarolinas), onto the guy currently averaging 7.3 PPG and 3.7 RPG on 38.5 FG%, might be construed to a casual observer as tanking with faint praise. But the Bobcats, tanking, you say? Char-lotto? How dare you.

“I don’t know if some teams have thought of that. That’s not something that we would do. I don’t believe in that,” uttered MJ, likely with a similar air as when Whitney Houston would insist, “I don’t do crack.” But he adds this…

“If that was my intention I never would have paid Al Jefferson $13 million a year.”

Perhaps. Grabbing the mega-rebounding Jefferson was indeed a big get, as big a deal as anything Charlotte could have expected this summer. At Time Warner Cable Arena, he’ll get an opportunity to face-off with two of his fellow free agent ex-Jazz teammates, Paul Millsap and DeMarre Carroll, as he returns from an ankle bone bruise he suffered in the Bobcats’ season opener.

The one way Jefferson helps the Bobcats immensely is by shoring up defensive rebounding. Dependent last season on the likes of Byron Mullens and DeSagana Diop, Charlotte as a team finished next-to-last in defensive rebounding rate, while Al Jefferson finished 11^th in that stat among returning players. He’ll be a boon for the young Bismack Biyombo (6^th in NBA defensive rebounding rate). The Cats didn’t cough up too many furballs last season (13.1 turnovers, 3^rd fewest in NBA), and Jefferson’s goof-free game fits in quite well (7.3 TOs per 100 possessions, 3^rd fewest among active NBA players).

Jefferson and Charlotte will try its best to protect the rock against the ball-hawks of Atlanta, who have posted the league’s second-most steals per game (10.5) while committing the second-fewest personal fouls (17.8 per game).

The Bobcats are playing at a grindingly-slow pace (28^th in NBA), and it seems as though there is a lot of wasted time on the clock when the team is averaging just 90.3 PPG (29^th in NBA, albeit mostly without Jefferson available). Five of Charlotte’s top seven scorers are shooting under 40% so far this season. One exception is NBA sophomore forward Michael Kidd-Gilchrist (56.3 FG%), who is playing in a better comfort zone than in his erratic rookie year. The other exception is Ramon Sessions, who is just a shade above the 40% shooting mark. The reserve guard ranks 6^th in the league in usage percentage (tied with Kyrie Irving!) and is getting almost half of his points from the free throw line, ranked 9^th in attempts (tied with Blake Griffin! And Monta Ellis!). Sessions is seeking any potential path to the basket and calling his own number with a crazy level of frequency.

Leading scorer and lead guard Walker (5.0 assists per game, down from 5.7 last season), who likes to drive without kicking much, has to do a better job setting up his teammates earlier in the shot clock, especially since their offense is so predictable. MJ’s dot-connector guy McRoberts is second on the team in assists, but needs to help to use his size to help create some extra possessions. Jordan does hope McRoberts' pass-first pass-second game rubs off on lotto pick Cody Zeller (5.2 PPG) in some way.

Jeff Teague has so far found little resistance getting shots inside, either. He leads all NBA guards with 4.7 field goal attempts in the paint (outside of the restricted area), 0.6 more than Chris Paul. Teague’s fellow Deacon alum is also the only NBA player currently averaging more assists per game than Teague (9.8 APG), who heads the NBA’s best passing team (28.3 APG) right now. When the Bobcats don’t have to stay home on Kyle Korver, watch for Henderson and MKG to help disrupt the Hawk offense anytime Teague blows by Walker or Sessions.

There will be a mini-reunion of sorts for a pair of ex-Hawks. Anthony Tolliver went from three-point specialist in the 2013 playoffs to veteran reserve in the Queen City. Tied for tops on the team in threes made per game, look for him to try and exploit Atlanta’s continued shortcomings along the perimeter. Jannero Pargo had an interesting spin with the Hawks last winter, but he’s been used sparingly thus far. Expect him on the floor only if Walker or Sessions run into foul trouble.

As they say in Nashville, the Commodores were never the same after Lionel Richie left, and the same can probably be said about the departures of Atlanta’s John Jenkins and Charlotte’s Jeffery Taylor. If may be tough for Johnny Cash to watch Taylor, shooting just 34.0 FG%, 19.0 3FG%, and 52.4 FT%, appear in every game and average 23 minutes a game for the Bobcats, while he gets to wear his shooting shirt from the bench as the Hawks reform his defensive game. It will be interesting to see if and how Jenkins gets deployed tonight, especially if he has to hold Sessions or Henderson in check.

A heart-stopping finish tonight is hopefully not in the cards, either for the Hawks or for Bobcats Head Coach Steve Clifford. Clifford will get a standing ovation tonight at the Cable Box as he returns after experiencing chest pains on Thursday night and undergoing a heart procedure.

Let’s Go Hawks!

~lw3