lethalweapon3

He apparently also lives in a Glass Taj Mahal. http://www.sportingnews.com/nba/news/rex-chapman-pleads-guilty-to-stealing-more-than-15000-in-apple-merchandise/rs1vdk3ewz1i1rub7zie0emxb https://www.si.com/college-basketball/2015/07/28/rex-chapman-kentucky-nba-painkillers-theft ~lw3

The Dream begin their season on the first day of WNBA action in Connecticut against the Sun. Their first home game comes next weekend, on the back end of a home-and-home with Chicago. There are no long homestands, none longer than the first 3-game set that begins on May 21 against the Sky and concludes on the afternoon of May 31 versus Kelsey Plum and San Antonio. Chicago is the only opponent that Atlanta faces on four occasions this season; all other East and West teams they’ll play thrice. Atlanta will have a 5-in-6-game homestretch beginning on June 23, broken up only by a trip to Dallas. Skylar Diggins and the Wings conclude that run of home games on July 9. Atlanta will have plenty of time to bond on the road to start the season. Atlanta spends the first half of June out of town, visiting four Eastern Conference foes plus Seattle, who gets an early shot to avenge their season-ending loss in Atlanta during last year’s playoffs. That’s the only road trip for the Dream that extends beyond two games. They’ll have just six road contests, and eight home games, after the brief All-Star Break in July. The defending champs, Los Angeles, play in Atlanta twice, once on May 27 and once to close out June. Their toughest stretch will likely come versus a single adversary. Atlanta has long had trouble competing with Maya Moore and Minnesota, yet the Dream will face the Lynx three times over a span of 11 days after the Break. Stealing at least one of those games, two of which will be at McCamish, will go a long way momentum-wise for the club. If Atlanta is to secure a spot in the WNBA Playoffs, they’re better off getting it done before the calendar turns to September. Their final pair of games are on the road that month: in Phoenix for the season finale, and at Staples Center against the defending champion Sparks. If you need to feed your Bob Rathbun fix in the summertime, he'll be back with LaChina Robinson and Angel Gray on Atlanta Dream home broadcasts. 15 of the 17 games at Georgia Tech will be aired by Fox Sports Southeast or Fox Sports South, with one game to be telecast online via ESPN 3. There won't be much Dream on the tube early on with the road-heavy schedule to start 2017. But after June 15, all but four of the 11 remaining road contests will be viewable either via local simulcast, ESPN 2, or online. The newest contributor among the WNBA media is Twitter, which plans to livestream at least 20 games every year through their platform, including two Dream road games late in the season. ATLANTA DREAM 2017 REGULAR SEASON SCHEDULE (all times Eastern) ROAD – Saturday, May 13, @ Connecticut, 7:30 PM ROAD – Friday, May 19, @ Chicago, 8:30 PM [The U Too in CHI] HOME – Sunday, May 21, vs. Chicago, 3 PM [NBATV, Fox Sports Southeast] HOME – Saturday, May 27, vs. Los Angeles, 6 PM [Fox Sports Southeast] HOME – Wednesday, May 31, vs. San Antonio, 11:30 AM (Kids Day Game) [Fox Sports South] ROAD – Sunday, June 4, @ Washington, 3 PM [CSN Mid-Atlantic in DC] ROAD – Wednesday, June 7, @ New York, 11 AM [NBATV, MSG Network in NYC] ROAD – Saturday, June 10, @ Connecticut, 7 PM [CSN New England in CT] ROAD – Tuesday, June 13, @ Seattle, 10 PM ROAD – Thursday, June 15, @ Indiana, 7 PM [Fox Sports Indiana simulcast] HOME – Friday, June 23, vs. Chicago, 7:30 PM [ESPN 3 online] HOME – Friday, June 30, vs. Los Angeles, 7:30 PM [Fox Sports Southeast] HOME – Sunday, July 2, vs. New York, 6 PM [Fox Sports Southeast] ROAD – Wednesday, July 5, @ Dallas, 8 PM [Fox Sports Southwest Dallas Plus simulcast] HOME – Friday, July 7, vs. Indiana, 7:30 PM [Fox Sports Southeast] HOME – Sunday, July 9, vs. Dallas, 3 PM [Fox Sports Southeast] ROAD – Wednesday, July 12, @ Phoenix, 10 PM [Fox Sports Arizona simulcast] ROAD – Saturday, July 15, @ Seattle, 9 PM [JoeTV in SEA] HOME – Tuesday, July 18, vs. San Antonio, 11:30 AM (Camp Day Game) [Fox Sports South] ROAD – Wednesday, July 19, @ Washington, 11:30 AM [Monumental Network in DC] [WNBA All-Star Game – Saturday, July 22, in Seattle, 3:30 PM] [ABC] HOME – Tuesday, July 25, vs. Phoenix, 7 PM HOME – Friday, July 28, vs. Minnesota, 7:30 PM [Fox Sports Southeast] HOME – Sunday, July 30, vs. Washington, 3 PM [Fox Sports Southeast] ROAD – Thursday, August 3, @ Minnesota, 8 PM [ESPN 2] ROAD – Saturday, August 5, @ Chicago, 8 PM [The U Too in CHI] HOME – Tuesday, August 8, vs. Minnesota, 7 PM [Fox Sports South] HOME – Friday, August 11, vs. New York, 7:30 PM [Fox Sports Southeast] ROAD – Saturday, August 12, @ San Antonio, 8 PM [Twitter livestream] HOME – Tuesday, August 15, vs. Connecticut, 7 PM [Fox Sports South] ROAD – Saturday, August 19, @ Dallas, 8 PM [Fox Sports Southwest Dallas Plus simulcast] HOME – Wednesday, August 23, vs. Seattle, 7 PM [Fox Sports South] HOME – Saturday, August 26, vs. Indiana, 6 PM [Fox Sports Southeast] ROAD – Friday, September 1, @ Los Angeles, 10:30 PM [Spectrum SportsNet/Spectrum Deportes in LA] ROAD – Sunday, September 3, @ Phoenix, 4 PM [Twitter livestream] ~lw3

Illustrating the delineation of the Top 5 (really, Top 2, then New York, then Washington/Seattle interchanging) from the rest of the WNBA pack are the espnW power ranking, and a poll of sportswriters/sportscasters conducted by AP. Both polls have Atlanta squeaking into the postseason. http://www.espn.com/wnba/story/_/id/19312317/minnesota-lynx-beat-defending-champion-los-angeles-sparks-no-1-spot-preseason-wnba-power-rankings Here's espnW's (Mechelle Voepel's) take on the Dream entering 2017: Among the 16-member panel for the AP poll, there are six different teams currently predicted to be dead-last, including the Dream, while one pollster has Indiana next-to-last. The highest projected ranking by any poll member for the Dream is 6th. Parity clearly prevails among the bottom half. http://wtop.com/news/2017/05/ap-wnba-power-rankings-15/ (2016's W-L totals shown, "Previous" ranking from end of 2016 regular season) W L Pts Pv High Low 1. Los Angeles (11) 26 8 187 2 1 2 2. Minnesota (5) 28 6 180 1 1 3 3. New York 21 13 150 3 2 9 4. Washington 13 21 140 9 3 6 5. Seattle 16 18 132 7 3 7 6. Phoenix 16 18 105 8 5 12 7. Indiana 17 17 83 5 3 11 8. Atlanta 17 17 77 4 6 12 9. Dallas 11 23 59 10 5 12 10. Chicago 18 16 54 6 7 12 11. Connecticut 14 20 44 10 7 12 12. San Antonio 7 27 37 12 7 12 ~lw3

The 2017 field for the WNBA Playoffs remains top-heavy. Minnesota is the clear-cut contender to topple defending champion Los Angeles for the crown and compete with the Sparks out West for the entire season. The Eastern Conference leader from 2015 and 2016, New York remains the class of the conference but seeks redemption after failing to reach the WNBA Finals in either year. A beneficiary of quality draft choices in the prior two seasons, Seattle seems primed to make their surge up the standings into the upper tier. An offseason of star-laden acquisitions for Washington poses a similar outlook for 2017. After that… well, it’s catch-as-catch-can for the remaining WNBA clubs, and that allows room for optimism by Dream fans as the season prepares to tipoff. Are there three teams, among the remaining muddled group of seven, good enough to keep Atlanta out of the WNBA postseason, for just the third time in its ten-year history? Here are my season-tipoff WNBA power rankings for 2017: 1. Los Angeles Sparks – There’s no relenting for coach Brian Agler’s champs, finally breaking through in 2016. Free agent Kristi Toliver moved to D.C. But the team anchored by Candace Parker and MVP Nneka Ogwumike remains deep at guard, thanks to Riquna Williams (missed 2016 due to injury), rookie Sydney Wiese and trade acquisition Odyssey Sims joining the club. 2. Minnesota Lynx – Any team led by Maya Moore, all-world defender Sylvia Fowles, and coach Cheryl Reeve is in the running for championships in any season. Depth at point guard and center is questionable, the spots filled by rookie Alexis Jones and Plenette Pierson, respectively. As long as this veteran-laden team stays is top-notch health, they’re as likely as anyone to win it all. 3. New York Liberty – Another year of masterful play by Tina Charles, the WNBA’s top scorer, top rebounder, and the best two-way big in the league. Another year of dominating the league on the boards, with help from center Kiah Stokes. Another year of questioning whether coach Bill Laimbeer has the right mix at point guard and small forward to compete for a WNBA title. 4. Washington Mystics – Miss Elena Goes to Washington! Coach Mike Thibault’s crew not only acquired Toliver, but also encouraged All-WNBA 1st Teamer Elena Delle Donne to steer a trade closer to her Delaware home. The offense, with Emma Meeseman and sixth-woman Ivory Latta back, should be the class of the league. The burning question remains: can they stop anybody? 5. Seattle Storm – Coach Jenny Boucek’s team would be good enough to claim the East. But out West, they have L.A. and Minnesota standing in their way. 2016 Rookie of the Year Breanna Stewart will make her MVP chase. Sue Bird’s resurgence was among the top stories of 2016. But 2017 needs to be about the top WNBA assist-maker’s formal passing of the torch to Jewell Loyd. 6. Indiana Fever – Future HOF’er Tamika Catchings bid adieu, now working in the Fever and Pacers’ front office. But Indy says hello to coach Pokey Chatman, who got pushed out of Chicago. Much like Cooper, Chatman needs a new star to emerge. But she has veteran talent all along the top line. Guard Briann January and ex-Mercury star Candice Dupree should help keep things afloat. 7. Atlanta Dream – Coach Coop has ample time to identify a solid working rotation and keep his high-tempo outfit in playoff contention well into July, even without Angel the Engine around. But to do any more, he’ll need at least one player to become a consistently good All-Star talent. Whether those players include Williams, Holmes, Hayes, or someone else, remains to be seen. 8. Phoenix Mercury – A sadly disappointing effort in 2016 showed you cannot trust coach Sandy Brondello’s team as far as you can throw them. Point guards Danielle Robinson and Leilani Mitchell should help settle things down for franchise pillars Brittney Griner and Diana Taurasi. But the pregnancy suspension of DeWanna Bonner leaves a tough hole to fill at small forward. 9. Chicago Sky – A fitting team name, since departures by Delle Donne and Chatman leave this team looking nebulous. Losing guard Jameirra Faulkner to injury also hurts. But they’re stocked with potential upfront and still have quality vets in the backcourt, like Courtney Vandersloot, Cappie Pondexter, and Allie Quigley. New coach/GM Amber Stocks was an assistant in L.A. 10. San Antonio Stars – How soon plucking #1-overall pick Kelsey Plum, college’s all-time top scorer, will bear fruit is anyone’s guess. But the rookie heralds a new era for a proud franchise that has lost its way in recent years. Can she etch out quality minutes playing behind the Kayla McBride and the superb Moriah Jefferson? For new coach Vickie Johnson, there are lots of moving parts. 11. Dallas Wings – Sims’ trade leaves no doubt that this show belongs to guard Skylar Diggins-Smith (sorry, fellas). There are plenty of returnees for coach Fred Williams, but he’ll need his first-round rookies, or second-year player Aerial Powers, to emerge at the wing spots to contend in the West. He’ll also need a full healthy season out of rebounding maven Glory Johnson. 12. Connecticut Sun – Bouncing back from personnel errors of the recent past is tough enough. But coach Curt Miller was already dealt an unkind hand with the likely injury loss (again) of forward Chiney Ogwumike. He does have stability, with guards Jasmine Thomas and Alex Bentley back in the fold. Forwards Jonquel Jones and Morgan Tuck could emerge as stars, IF they can win games. ~lw3

Gentlemen, 'tis always wise to cover one's crotch region, before yelling "KUPCHAK?" aloud in jocular company. ~lw3

Slow news day so I just got jokes. I'm really not fond of saying "G-League." The way it rolls off my tongue, it sounds like a bad Ben Affleck+J-Lo flick. ~lw3

"I Know What You Did Last Winter"... a summary of Atlanta Dream players in their WNBA offseason. Angel McCoughtry -- Finals MVP w/ Euroleague Champion, All-League 1st Team w/ Russian League Finalist (Dynamo Kursk) Sancho Lyttle -- Russian Cup Winner, Russian League Champion, Eurolague Semifinalist (UMMC Ekaterinburg) Elizabeth Williams -- Russian League Semifinalist (Nadezhda Oreburg) Bria Holmes -- Israeli Cup Winner, Israeli League Finalist (Maccabi Ramat Gan) Tiffany Hayes -- Israeli League Champion (Maccabi Ashdod), 8 Turkish League games (Mersin BSB) Layshia Clarendon -- Stayed Home, color analyst for Pac-12 Network Damiris Dantas -- League Player of the Year, Finals MVP w/ Brazil League Champion (Corinthians/Americana) Brianna Kiesel -- Hungarian Cup Third Place (UNI Gyor) Meighan Simmons -- Polish Cup Winner, Polish League Finalist (Wisla Can-Pack) Matee Ajavon -- 4 Turkish Super League Games (Botas Spor) Rachel Hollivay -- 2 Spanish League Games (C.R.E.F. HOLA Madrid) Aneika Morello -- 6 Turkish League Games (Mersin BSB) Darxia Morris -- All_League 1st Team w/ Polish League Quarterfinalist (Energa Tourn) ~lw3

Because they used their gumption, bravery, and will to overcome the familial and economic impacts of The Middle Passage, slavery, Jim Crow and systemic housing, voting, and educational discrimination spanning several centuries? No, that can't be it. It's a splendid topic you can delve into further if you choose... in a whole other forum. But it appears you've answered the reason for original topic title, though, however wittingly. ~lockedw3

With their WNBA season tipping off this Saturday, the Atlanta Dream hope to spread their wings in 2017. But how far can they truly fly without Angel McCoughtry around? Entering its tenth season, the WNBA franchise was dealt two blows affecting their appeal to sports fans this year. One was inevitable, as forthcoming summertime renovations to Philips Arena meant the Dream needed a new home for the next two WNBA seasons. Fortunately, Georgia Tech has long been accommodating to the Dream (and the Hawks, back in the day). Last year’s playoff home of McCamish Pavilion, the since-renovated “Thrillerdome” on 10th Street, will be the site of Dream games through at least 2018. Atlantans have an affinity for driving right up to the doors of desirable establishments, and the limited campus-area parking even during the summer sessions tend to be a drag on attendance. The Tech Trolleys will likely be re-routed to accommodate gameday traffic, while the newly extended schedule for Atlanta United at nearby Bobby Dodd Stadium will require even more campus coordination, shuttling pro sports fans around from MARTA and Atlantic Station. But while soccer fans don’t question whether it will be worth the trouble, current and prospective basketball fans will. And that’s where the other blow landed. Fans become more attuned to the WNBA game if there is the likelihood a star talent suits up for the team they root for. The one billboard-worthy talent the Dream has had, almost since their inception, has been perennial All-Star and Olympic gold medalist Angel McCoughtry. Unfortunately, she has been wearing down from year-round globetrotting and basket weaving. It’s the same deal for many WNBA players, regardless of starpower. The salaries they command here pale in comparison to the dollars and rubles and drachmae they pull overseas, their reputations here serving mostly to fuel their international demand. This plus the routine demands of national team commitments take its toll, and it becomes tough for young women to keep up hooping obligations and other life interests, like schooling, running a business, or planning a family. (Side note: Angel’s new venture, “McCoughtry’s Ice Cream”, should be opening in June, around the corner from Philips Arena in the Castleberry Hill neighborhood.) Angel is among the few players fortunate enough to be constantly in demand for her basketball talent, and she keeps herself in peak athletic condition. But, at age 30, she has also joined the elder stateswomen in the W, and deserves some serious respite after having carried a WNBA franchise on her back for eight seasons. Angel Mac is nowhere near broken down, as she most recently displayed in April by guiding Dynamo Kursk to the Euroleague Women’s championship and Russian League finals (the latter won by Sancho Lyttle’s UMMC Ekaterinburg team). With her WNBA suspension in ink, McCoughtry plans to spend this month playing for a team in suburban Beirut for the Lebanese League playoffs, before returning to the ATL for the start of her new dessert shop. But she’s not going to wait until her body cannot go for 30 minutes per night before taking personally productive time away from the league. McCoughtry’s season-long absence, announced back in January, scuttled any serious hopes of contending for a WNBA title this year. But this Angel-free season can serve as a prime opportunity for new talents to step into the limelight. The Dream, already among the lowest-attended WNBA outfits, truly needs this to transpire. But who might that rising player, or those players, be? One could look in any number of directions. McCoughtry and Tiffany Hayes’ late-season suspensions for excessive technical fouls in 2016 opened the door for the emergence of rookie Bria Holmes. Her scoring and activity helped salvage a 17-17 season for a Dream team that wasn’t projected as a playoff team at the outset. Teaming with Angel in the playoffs, the rookie shined as an offensive option during the few times the opponent managed to contain McCoughtry. No one person should be expected to completely compensate for Angel’s lost production, but Holmes can certainly fill the bill to an extent. If she has used her time overseas (in Israel) to expand her range and hone her defensive chops, Bria could become Atlanta’s go-to performer at least in the interim, until McCoughtry returns. One could also look to the interior, where the reigning WNBA Most Improved Player award winner resides. Head coach Michael Cooper entrusted Elizabeth Williams with a WNBA-high 34.7 minutes per game, and the second-year center delivered in spades. Williams finished 2016 second in the league in per-game blocks, and fifth in rebounds, including first on the offensive end. Demonstrative of her fullcourt capacities, only Williams and Minnesota’s Sylvia Fowles finished in the top-five of the WNBA in O-Rebs and blocked shots, while reigning MVP Nneka Ogwumike was the only other player to finish the season among the top ten in both categories. Williams struggled to finish attempts around the rim with the ball in her hands, but if Williams can stay healthy and round out her offensive game while cutting down on fouls, the former Duke star (jersey retired in the offseason, first Blue Devil men’s or women’s number retired since 2008) could turn even more heads in 2017. A wildcard for a breakout could be arriving off the bench. Damiris Dantas stayed home for her native Olympic host Brazil in 2016, but is back in training camp. It has been over a year-and-a-half since she last suited up for Atlanta, starting 16 games in 2015 after the Erika DeSouza trade. In the interim, Dantas has spent a lot of time in Brazil creating mismatches at the forward spots, expanding her range to the three-point line so she could apply her 6-foot-3 frame advantageously. As a notoriously poor jump-shooting team, Atlanta has never had a legitimate stretch-four (or-stretch-five), so Dantas could become a tool Cooper employs liberally in his rotations. If things work out well, Dantas’ return could be just in time for a gradual transition from defensively savvy starter Sancho Lyttle. Atlanta’s struggles to limit opponents’ paint points and force turnovers in 2016 could be tied to its continued in-and-out relationship with Lyttle. Sancho departed from the team in June to help Spain with its Olympic bid. Then, the Dream lost her for the season in mid-July with a broken bone in her foot. For as long as she’s here (she is likely to take another trip in June, to participate in the Eurobasket Women Olympic qualifying tournament), Sancho serves as the predominant veteran voice on and off the floor, in Angel’s stead. She’s not outspoken, but she won’t rail on her teammates in displeasure when mistakes get made. Her Millsap-style ability to get steals and deflections while also securing rebounds could keep Atlanta in the running to lead the league in fastbreak points once again, even without McCoughtry around to finish those plays. Of course, we cannot forget about Hayes, Atlanta’s top returning scorer (15.0 PPG) who returned from a playoff-game suspension to lead the way with 30 points in the Dream’s 2016 postseason denouement. Tip enjoyed career-best marks in minutes, scoring, and steals last season, and her hard-charging attitude makes her the prevailing option to score or get fouled on drives to the hoop. But the shooting guard has not been a steady perimeter shooter during her career, and improvement in this area will be crucial for the Dream to contend for a playoff spot in 2017. Another area of improvement for Hayes needs to come in the composure department. Opponents know Tiffany’s temper can get the best of her, either through overzealous fouling or griping to the referees. McCoughtry’s absence only increases the likelihood of physical opponents putting the screws to Hayes in anticipation that she’ll react detrimentally. If she can curb her emotions, or at least channel them toward productive team-oriented basketball, Hayes might not only lead the Dream to victories, but earn herself a mid-season trip to Seattle for the All-Star Game. Angel was the league’s highest-usage player, so that ball will now reside in the hands of lots of other players, no one more than point guard Layshia Clarendon. She returns on a new multi-year contract after a successful first year as a WNBA starter (career-high 10.4 PPG, 4.3 RPG, 3.5 APG). While her 34.6 3FG% was a regression for her, it was easily the best on the team that ranked last (as usual) in the league in three-pointers made and three-point percentage, McCoughtry the only other Dreammate shooting (barely) above 30 percent on the year. There is no significant depth behind Clarendon on the roster. Hoping she can remain healthy, Cooper will rely on his outspoken floor leader to transition his team out of the iso-heavy and oft-sloppy offense that relied on McCoughtry for nearly a decade. Despite finally cutting down on turnovers in 2016, Atlanta ranked last in the WNBA for assists produced (15.0 team APG), their failures to hit threes contributing greatly to that ranking. Cooper and the Dream management elected to improve on backcourt depth through the draft, reaching a bit to select shooting guard Brittney Sykes out of Syracuse. “She reminds me of me,” Coach Coop said to Syracuse.com after the draft. I’m sure we have heard that before. “It’s a match made in heaven… I do think we got the steal of the draft.” We shall see. After suffering two season-ending ACL injuries in college, Sykes bounced back to help lead the Orange to the 2016 national championship game. She continued to team with point guard Alexis Peterson through 2017 to form college basketball’s highest-scoring backcourt tandem. Cooper estimates that the first-round pick’s perimeter shooting (a low-volume but team-high 39.3 3FG% as a redshirt senior) and defense will translate well to the WNBA level. The elevated pace and frequency of games and the limited time for acclimation and off-court development are always tough on WNBA rookies, to say nothing of the adjustment to opposing pro talent. Sykes rounds out the seven surefire guarantees for spots on Atlanta’s 11-player minimum (12-player maximum) roster. Considering the limited depth, the most likely addition among the remaining women in training camp is point guard Brianna Kiesel, an unrestricted free agent signee previously with the Dallas Wings. Kiesel’s 2016 campaign in Dallas proved to be a washout, waived midway through the year after 48 appearances with the Wings/Shock franchise over the past two seasons. But she filled in admirably as a replacement starter for the 2015 Shock, first filling in the gap formed by Odyssey Sims’ injury as Tulsa raced to an 8-1 season start, then again with an injury to Skylar Diggins. Kiesel’s career game came during that summer in Atlanta, where her career-best 16 points helped visiting Tulsa upend the Dream. Competitors for the remaining roster spots include several Dream returnees. Second-year pivot Rachel Hollivay will vie for a backup role behind Williams. Atlanta also re-acquired longtime reserve Aneika Morello via trade, after a lackluster season in Connecticut. Meighan Simmons showed flashes on occasion during her delayed rookie season in 2016, but will be challenged to reveal new facets to her game and better consistency if she intends to stick with this roster. Veteran Matee Ajavon, who regressed after a surprising 2015, journeywoman point guard Darxia Morris, and former Georgia Tech star Ty Marshall round out the hopefuls. Although the Dream played without several key frontcourt players, last Friday’s 113-67 washout loss in Minnesota confirmed that this team has plenty of work cut out for it, a rotation that is likely struggling to gel at the outset of this WNBA season. More than ever before, this team will have the undivided attention of Michael Cooper and his coaching staff, which includes Michael’s son, Miles, as the player development director. The 2018 Draft will be deep with future WNBA stars, but Atlanta sports fans are not keeping track in any case, and will not be rewarding attempts to tank by purchasing gameday tickets at Georgia Tech. The Dream are competing for attention in a heightened local summertime sports market with a wildly popular MLS outfit, a reigning NFC champion, and a team in a shiny new MLB baseball park. It will be Coach Coop’s challenge to hold this team together through this season, without Angel, and through next season in their temporary home. Regardless of their record or their playoff prospects, Cooper must make the 2017 Atlanta Dream competitive enough to keep hoop fans entertained through the summer. Let's Go Dream! ~lw3

Apples-and-oranges (or rotten bananas, if you will), but comparing Scottie's after-sunrise cruise through rural Banks County with Dwight's moonlit drive around the Perimeter Expressway (also known locally as "Pascual Perez Drive"... that's a joke, son!) is a sketchy proposition. Dunwoody, where Dwight got rightfully busted, is nobody's idea of a racial Shangri-La, true. They're only recently a stand-alone city (2008) after breaking out from under the exclusive thumb of DeKalb County's long-corrupt but now predominantly-black governance. But unlike Banks County, whose sheriff's department feels a need to bankroll their coffers with assets forfeited from People Who Likely Can't Afford Decent Lawyers (profiling), Dunwoody is swimming in so much cash, from development and pricey housing alone, that their county sheriff apparently spends his late nights perusing the city of Atlanta's wonderful parks system. Dwight also found probably the only time of day/night where one can go 30 mph over the speed limit in that stretch of 285, were one so foolishly inclined. ~lw3

I think I found just the guy who could bend Dwight's ear about reckless driving in the ATL. http://basketball.realgm.com/wiretap/155971/Johnson-fractures-spine-but-full-recovery-expected Still hooping, by the way... he's in Ice Cube's Big 3 league this summer! https://sports.vice.com/en_us/article/dermarr-johnson-is-alive-and-well-and-dominating I'd also ask Dwight when his dude Shawty Lo's next mixtape comes out. ~lw3

There's only one man allowed to be out here profiling. ~lwhoo3

We've also had our opportunities seeding-wise to get into at least the Conference Finals, on the theoretical strength of homecourt advanatage, but fell woefully short. 1970... #1 seed in the West... referee shenanigans on a "How's That for Data" level allow Jerry West's #2 seed Lakers to sweep the Western Division finals. Lakers go on to the next round, lose to Willis Reed's Knicks in Game 7 of the NBA Finals. 1987... #2 seed in the East... but lost to Isiah's #3 seed Pistons 4-1 (the series where Zeke danced on the Hawks after hitting the game winner in Game 4). Granting Detroit their first conference/division final appearance since 1962, the Pistons would lose Game 7 to the Celtics (lost 4-2 to Lakers in NBA Finals) in the conference finals. 1994... #1 seed in the East... but we got cute and traded Nique a couple months before... squeaked by Steve Smith's 8-seed Miami (3-2), but outpaced by Reggie Miller and Indiana (a #5 seed that swept #4 Shaq 'n Penny the prior round) in the second round. Pacers lost Game 7 to Patrick Ewing's Knicks, who lost Game 7 in turn to Hakeem's Rockets. 1999... #4 seed in the East... but the #1 seed Miami was knocked off 3-2 the prior round by the #8 seed Knicks, who had edged the Hornets by one game in the strike-shortened season to get in. Knicks swept the Hawks 4-0 (has another 8-seed ever swept anybody?), then went on to make history as an 8-seed getting to the NBA Finals (losing to the Spurs) after beating the Pacers in the Conference Finals. 2015... #1 seed in the East... but Thabo got tenderized, and a couple starters entered the playoffs dealing with recent injuries. Got by versus Joe's Nets and then Paul's and Wall's Wizards. But went full Elijah Price during the series against LeBron and Delly and got swept in the Conference Finals. Would've probably been bird feed anyway against the Warriors, who beat the Cavs. Go back to St. Louis the year before they got here, 1968... franchise-record 56 wins, #1 seed in the West.... but the league had this playoff setup where #1 played #3 while #2 played #4. The 4-seed was the 29-53 Chicago Bulls, who only got in ahead of expansion teams in Seattle and San Diego and lost to the Lakers in 5 games. The 3-seed was Nate Thurmond's 43-39 San Francisco Warriors, who shocked the Hawks in Game 1 in St. Louis then held serve at home to prevail in six games. The playoff setup was changed to 1-versus-4 and 2-versus-3 in 1971. San Francisco got swept by the Lakers, who in turn lost in six games to the Celtics in the Finals. ~lw3

I think I'm in year #17 for promoting Weaver to a top job. But I've also got an under-experienced but young and highly-respected, kinda-but-not-completely-Spurs-guy to throw into the ring as a candidate. Worked with Bud as a Spurs Guy as a coaching intern after retirement, with the 2004-05 NBA champ Spurs, returning to the Alamo City last September as a coach/VP of basketball ops. The Spurs of course finished second in the league in the standings despite the departure of Tim Duncan. Also worked with Coach Bud as a co-assistant (under Coach Pop) at the NBA Africa Game in 2015. Wasn't around for the Banana Boat, but has been an Assistant Coach for the stars on Team USA Men's Basketball since 2013, including the 2016 gold medalists. Was the youngest head coach in the league when hired by the N'Awlins Hornets in 2010. Survived GM flux (Jeff Bowers cut loose a month after the hiring), then got the team into the playoffs, then survived Ownership changes, Ownership in-fighting, and The Chris Paul Trade Screwjob of 2011. The eventually-renamed Pelicans improved their record incrementally for three seasons after 2011-12, before making the 2015 playoffs with 45 wins as per the newest owner's ultimatum (got fired anyway, but probably saved Dell Demps' job). Superb relations with players, Ryan Anderson's situation while with the Pelicans being the most prominent example, and a solid communicator (Communications was kind of his college major) with good relations with the media. Recently turned down a offer to coach at Illinois, in anticipation of a more lucrative NBA gig down the road. So, any interest in interviewing Monty Williams? ~lw3

But was he Driving Too Closely, Tho? "But officer, do you not know who I think I am?" http://www.reporternewspapers.net/2017/05/08/atlanta-hawks-dwight-howards-car-towed-dunwoody-no-insurance/ Among other tasks, someone needs to fire their "security guard." If the times add up, he's "calling Tyrone" for a ride home in the middle of the night before an elimination game. Thank goodness he wasn't arrested (just a warning, for going 30 mph over the limit), I suppose? ~lw3

The preceding was brought to you by your friends at Uber AND Lyft! ~lw3

but Roscoe P. Coltrane is officially on the hunt for Cop Job #4. Try malls next time, pal! Also, a Reading Is Fundamental error on my part, now that it's established that no 98 mph chase (or 9.8 mph chase) occurred (via MyAJC): I errantly assumed the arrest was only after the officer confirmed there were drugs in the vehicle. Instead, they were cuffed for "following a car too closely" (I can comfortably assume Miranda never entered the picture by that point), with the officers cuffing a fully compliant 6-foot-8 passenger for (their own) safety purposes. And only then, with cuffs on, were the Scotts asked whether they had any criminal goods on them. The cop was probably lucky the brothers were riding proverbially dirty. Because without that, we would simply have had, "NBA Player on his way to Basketball Camp Pulled Over: Guns Drawn on Him and Brother for Allegedly Following Car Closely." ~lw3

How do you get to Yankee Stadium? Practice, practice, practice! Or something like that! After a disappointing home return, the Five Stripes are back on the road in Gotham for a mid-day bout with the New York City Football Club, or simply, NYCFC (4:00 PM Eastern, Univision and Univision Deportes, 92.9 FM in ATL). NYCFC is led on the pitch by star striker David Villa. Dirty South Soccer sets up this match succinctly: http://www.dirtysouthsoccer.com/2017/5/7/15570708/atlanta-united-at-nycfc-live-stream-time-tv-schedule-and-lineups ~lw3

"We're nowhere in the hiring process, except the very beginning." (Just caught that on radio replay) Ressler Replay kicks back on at 5:20 pm ~lw3

Anybody catch Ressler on 92.9 about an hour ago? Working from home, I wound up taking a Siesta de Mayo and, with Ressler talking in the background, dreamed that Ressler was stepping to Barkley and calling him a baffoon. I might wanna check what's in this water after all. ~lw3

Now, THAT's The Inside Stuff! ~lw3

So, "Don't"mars? ~lw3

Oh, c'mon you guys! Joe D can bring back his old pal Josh Smith on a reasonable deal to replace Sap and then... hold on, I need another sip of this great water. Speaking of Employee #5, Happy Cinco de Mayo! Drink Responsibly, Squawkers! ~lwtres

Love Nique, but I'd rather have this version making decisions. ~lw3

Although I feel like we've squeezed as much NBA pulp out of that orange as possible, I'm just pleased he'll get a chance somewhere, even if it's just a training camp pickup. With the "evidence" now formally kicked to the curb, IF Money Mike can keep his nose clean going forward, he can focus on getting in better condition all summer, without the specter of some CBA-mandated drug suspension hanging over his head and discouraging teams from giving him a fresh look. Scottie might wanna give Euroball a try, too. Any cool teams in Amsterdam? ~lw3