Seriously you got Doug Coughlin in you... did you love the movie cocktail growing up? Lol.
All of Coughlin’s law’s from Cocktail (1988)
“Drink or be gone”
“Anything else is always something better”
“Never show surprise, never lose your cool”
“Never tell tales about a woman. No matter how far she is, she’ll hear you”
“Bury the dead, they stink up the joint. As for the rest of Coughlin’s laws, ignore them. The guy was always full of shit”
“Douglas Coughlin, Logical Negativist. Flourished in the last part of the 20th Century. Propounded a set of laws the world generally ignores, to its detriment.”