Kevin Willis Syndrome...lol

[Johnnybravo4]

I thought this was pretty funny.

By Buster Gunning

Team officials for the Indiana Pacers were stunned Sunday when, after a routine physical, center Jermaine O’Neal was diagnosed with a rare defect known as “Kevin Willis Syndrome” an ailment that causes unusually short arms.

“Jermaine O’Neal is okay and will continue to play this season” said by Pacers team trainer Josh Corbeil in an emergency press conference. “Preliminary reports from a standard physical have proven earlier suspicions that Mr. O’Neal does indeed have Kevin Willis syndrome. This is a setback from Mr. O’Neal, however, it will not force him to injured reserve and he can still have a productive NBA career.”

WebMD defines Kevin Willis Syndrome as:

A shortening of the arms usually leading to an advanced thickness of the tricep and bicep muscles. Named after the first person to be diagnosed, Kevin Willis Syndrome (KWS) can be disabilitating as, in some cases; the arms continue to recede as the victim ages.

Also known as “The T-Rex Effect” not to be confused with hip-hop band “Rex N Effect”, Kevin Willis managed to play through his KWS and garner an astonishing 21 seasons as a forward/center in the NBA. During his illustrious career he managed to haul in almost 12,000 rebounds.

“Kevin managed to clean the boards and throw it down better than any big man in the league, even up to his last game,” mused NBA analyst Bill Walton. “Although, towards the end, his arms had receded so much, he often had to use his head to knock would-be rebounders out of the way and his powerful jaw was very helpful in tearing his opponents to shreds like a rabid carnivore. He was a true gentleman of our fair NBA.”

Other athletes rumored to have “Kevin Willis Syndrome” include Stephon Marbury of the New York Knicks and Los Angeles Clippers forward Tim Thomas.

Jermaine O’Neal was unavailable for comment. He is currently on a father-son camping trip with formerly estranged pop LeBron James according to a team spokesman.

: Buster.Gunning@realgm.com

The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.

[gheorghe]

Kevin Willis actually has the arms of a 6'1'' man, but he was a bas muddafucka who had a great career and one personal favourite of mine.

[Igor]

Kevin Willis actually has the arms of a 6'1'' man, but he was a bas muddafucka who had a great career and one personal favourite of mine.

Yeah he has played for both longest time and the oldest player for the league. I think Shaq will be retiring this or next season. Just curious. What's wingspan? Is he really a legit 7 feet w/o shoes? I think his wingspan is probably less than his own height (just like Yao Ming who also has 't-rex arms' cause 6,8" Brand Elton has the same wingspan as 7,5" Yao lol)

Edited November 22, 2008 by Igor

[Duff_Man]

He had small feet, too.

[DrReality]

The tackle the Falcons drafted in the first round also was criticized for having short arms? Doesn't seem to have bothered him.

[Igor]

He had small feet, too.

Who are you talking about? Yao or Willis? Apparently, I've read Willis only has size 10 or 11? wth? He's nearly or broad line 7 footer and my feet are even that size and I am 6 feet?

[Duff_Man]

Who are you talking about? Yao or Willis? Apparently, I've read Willis only has size 10 or 11? wth? He's nearly or broad line 7 footer and my feet are even that size and I am 6 feet?

I meant Willis. Very small feet!

[Igor]

I meant Willis. Very small feet!

Yeah which partially explains why his arms were so short. Almost comically short from what I've seen. And he's got small hands, too, which is why he dunks with two hands even though he's 7 foot cause he can't palm the ball...