Wednesday Insider

[Guest]

Michael Jordan and the Big Bang Theory

by Terry Brown

Also Below: Death and taxes in the NBA | Peep Show

2003 NBA Free Agent Sneak Peek

NBA position battles: Who's going to do the Magic's dirty work?

He does not go gentle into that good night.

Michael Jordan wants to die a martyr so long as he can take Kobe, Karl Malone, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Jerry Krause, Wilt Chamberlain and Phil Jackson with him.

He knows dang well that we don't bury our heroes. We set them on funeral pyres until the flames reach the heavens and stars mark the gravesite. He plays for poets now, not beat writers.

As if that statue in front of the United Center was ever going to be enough.

First of all, the Wizards are going to make the playoffs. Bulls be damned. Washington won 37 games last season when 42 were needed to qualify for the postseason and 44 would have gotten them homecourt in the first round. Heck, Jordan didn't even play in 22 games. They would have won at least 11 of those contests (after all, the Wizards did win 30 games in the 60 Jordan played), putting them at 48, one game behind the Celtics and two behind the Pistons.

And you do know that the Celtics lost Rodney Rogers this offseason and are without a legitimate point guard. You should also know that Jordan just stole the Pistons' best player away from them. In fact, he's assembled a scrappy team of veterans, each with something to prove in Jerry Stackhouse (once the next Michael Jordan), Bryon Russell (the foil in what could have been Jordan's last shot) and Christian Laettner (Michael's move in shirt and tie), led by a coach perhaps more desperate than any of them (because he was fired by you know who).

That leaves only the Nets between Jordan and the biggest stage in basketball with Kobe, Shaq, Hollywood's finest and Phil Jackson.

But along the way, all he's got to do is play in 55 games and put up 14.6 points per night to retain the NBA's all-time career scoring average crown and deny Wilt Chamberlain the honor. Jordan is currently at 31.0 in 990 games. Chamberlain is second at 30.1 in 1,045 games.

Even Jordan's sharpest critics will concede that record. And if so, that would put him at 31,455 total points behind only Malone (34,707) and Abdul-Jabbar (38,387). But imagine if he had played in 1994 and full 1995. He would have played about 80 games each season and scored about 31.5 per contest (both numbers derived from averaging years before and after retirement). Add that to the numbers he would have gotten if he played in the 1999, 2000 and 2001 with averages of 71 games at 25.8 points per each (derived the same way), then we're talking 40,730 career points before ever lifting a shooting hand this year.

That would have left him as the all-time scorer in NBA history in terms of quantity and quality, starring across at Kobe Bryant in a game of immortality.

Blame Homer, Hemingway. Defeat, retirement included, is not for Jordan. Only destruction.

In fact, he'll probably go down with a gruesome knee wound, kicking, screaming and cussing out Shaq all the way down, shaking his fist at Zen, columnists gnashing their teeth, some punk kid beating his chest. Forget about riding off into the sunset. Get the gasoline ready. We're all going out in a blaze of glory, gauze bandages and MRI tests.

Carrying his shield or on it.

He'll beat Wilt at his game, Kareem at his and finally succumb to a player who is actually playing Michael's game, too. He's gonna force Kobe to stick him with the knife to once and for all, finish his career and leave the game without a doubt as to who is now the greatest player on the planet today. He wants history with a new TV deal spanning tongues he cannot utter to record exactly what it took to kill the greatest basketball player in the history of game.

We owe him that. And vice versa.

Any day now, Jordan is going to announce that he is back to play in his 15th NBA season, soon to be 40 years old, having won six NBA titles and five MVP trophies and the simple knowledge that he left absolutely everything he had on the court.

BANG!

Death and taxes in the NBA

Arbitrator Charles Renfrew has refused a grievance filed by the players' union stating that the luxury and escrow taxes violated the labor pact the players joined in with the owners and unfairly discouraged the escalation of salaries paid to players.

"We are pleased the arbitrator enforced the terms of the agreement," Rick Buchanon, the NBA's general counsel, told the Washington Post.

The Players Association argued that the deal excessively punished high-spending teams by charging them a dollar for dollar tax once they exceeded or formula-generated amount of payroll. This, coupled with an escrow tax that kept players' salaries from exceeding 55 percent of league's revenue, is the rub and the players were attempting to get some of that money back by regulating how the two taxes were spent by the league.

"The NBA bargained for the right to decide how the escrow and tax money would be used," Buchanon said of the Collective Bargaining Agreement of 1999, meaning that teams like Portland, New York and Dallas will receive little if any money back.

Arbitrator Rejects Players' Grievance

Steve Wyche / Washington Post

Peep Show

Pacers: Indiana may have been the youngest team in the NBA last season, but Derrick McKey is doing everything he can to change that. The 14-year veteran who played for Philly last year after eight seasons as a Pacer is looking to return. "He would bring a know-how to the team that we probably need," Pacer president Donnie Walsh told the Indianapolis Star. "What got missed his whole career, even by coaches he had, was how good a player he was. He was often the difference between winning and losing. I thought he was a great basketball player."

Mavericks: Raja Bell just won't go away. The former IBL, CBA and USBL player who made it all the way to the NBA Finals with the Sixers has returned from Spain and agreed to terms to play for Dallas, the Philadelphia Daily News reports.

Timberwolves: As reported Wednesday, Gary Trent has a deal with the Timberwolves. Kendall Gill should be so lucky. He's been invited to the Minnesota training camp but with a non-guaranteed contract, meaning that he still has to earn a roster spot. Gill has averaged 14.2 ppg over 12 seasons but is coming off a dissapointing stint with the Heat last year.

Lakers: Don't count Tex Winter out yet. The 80-year-old assistant coach and creator of the triangle offense has spent 56 years on the bench and may go for 57. "I'm in the process now," Winter told the L.A. Daily News. "I'm looking to phase back even more than I did last year. It's a very time-consuming job. I've been at it 56 years. As they say, that's a long time to stay on a bucking horse."

Magic: Orlando has added another big man in 6-foot-11 Pat Burke, who has been with the team during two summer leagues this offseason. During five Orlando Pro games, he averaged 6.4 points and 3 rebounds. In six games of Shaw action, Burke averaged 9.0 points 3.7 rebounds and 1.5 blocks a game.

Bucks: Milwaukee's training camp roster has swelled to 23 with the signings of Cedric Henderson and LaRon Profit. The two players have a combined six years in the NBA. Terms of their contracts were not announced.

Magic sign F/C Burke

staff / Orlando Sentinel

McKey could return to Pacers

Mark Montieth / Indianapolis Star

Bell near deal; Hornacek to be honored

Phil Jasner / Philadelphia Daily News

Wolves re-sign forward Trent, add guard Gill

Robbi Pickeral / St. Paul Pioneer Press

Winter, 80, might stick around a bit

Howard Beck / Los Angeles Daily News

Bucks add to roster

Tom Enlund / Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel

[Guest]

Not very much to talk about is there?

[hds428]

They lost me with the pseudo-poetic jock waxing of Michael Jordan. I mean they act like the guy cured cancer or ended famine.

"He's gonna force Kobe to stick him with the knife to once and for all, finish his career and leave the game without a doubt as to who is now the greatest player on the planet today. He wants history with a new TV deal spanning tongues he cannot utter to record exactly what it took to kill the greatest basketball player in the history of game."

ummmm yeah, whatever you say, dude, it's a game let's not get all Shakespeare about it.

[Guest]

Say what you will about Ford, but at least his Insider reports are somewhat interesting if uniformed at times. These replacement articles blow.

[Guest]

Ford still sucks!

[mdawg]

The most ridiculous part of this "Insider" is that the guy guaranteed the Wiz a playoff spot. Byron Russell? He was done 4 years ago. Christian Laettner? He was done 5 years ago when Alan Henderson forced him to the bench. Stackhouse is not a team player, and he will never win any kind of championship. Who's the PG? Larry Hughes? That experiment failed last year. And Doug Collins? He had MJ 13 years ago, and he couldn't win a title then. What's changed?

[Traceman]

anywhere close to being healthy. With Jordan in the lineup, Larry Hughes is going to be MUCH better because Jordan will handle the ball a LOT and he will initiate the offense a lot. If Hughes is smart, he'll throw the ball to Jordan and then cut to the basket. Jordan will get him the ball in positions that will allow him to be successful. In addition, Stackhouse is still a quality offensive player and he and Jordan (even the Jordan of last year) will make a formidable duo. If they get ANYTHING out of the PF and Center positions, I think they will make the playoffs. I don't see a whole lot of difference between them and Orlando assuming that both Hill and Jordan are healthy. McGrady/Hill will form the better duo but Washington has better big men and equal depth.