lethalweapon3

* The League needs to replace the clock with a make-the-dunk-if-you-want-any-points deal. Three rounds, one try in each, toss out the low score. That's imperative. The clock takes bad, poorly conceived dunk attempts and makes them agonizingly worse. Watching these players get desperate to make the same attempt five-or-six times, each time more hurried as the clock winds down, sucks the interest out of each player's round. If they're trying not to kill TV time, max each player's singular attempt at 2 minutes to get the cupcake/phone booth/wilson chandler props and everything in place and the dunk attempt done. Rudy's dunks should've been enough to at least get to the next round, but the elitist judges clearly didn't want to give credit to a dude picked to participate by people's cellphones. Rudy smashes that second dunk on his first try and there'd be no way they'd give him an '8'. Instead we and the judges are watching with the "OK, we all saw what you were TRYING to do, can you wake us once you've done it?" attitude. I could've sworn one courtside guy was holding the '8' card in his hand just waiting for Rudy to finish. 50,000 people screaming not about a spectacular dunk, but just to get the ball back to Sonny Weems so he and J.R. don't run out of time botching another attempt... not Must See TV a'tall. * Dwight changes the order of those dunks and he's a certified two-timing champ today. * I'd have paid to have seen Smoove's impressions as the antidrama unfolded. ~lw3

Oh-oh-OH-oh-oh. Oh-oh-OH-oh. Oh-oh-OH-oh-oh... The Right Sl*t? By finding The Right Sl*t, any chance the announcer was referring to Ann Coulter? ~lw3

Was Star on the guest list at these parties? I'm just askin'. ~lw3

Memo to the five age 25-40 guys left with corns: AI's 'do is done... you can let it go now. ~lw3

Career projection for AI is like a pint-sized Bob McAdoo. Big-time scorer, ex-MVP, carried teams on his back for years through all kinds of injuries, finally getting a ring as an instant-offense sixth-man on a perennial Finals contender. The trick for AI is recognizing he doesn't have to be THE STAR, or even THE STARter, to have the best chance at securing a championship. And he'll get a bust in Springfield, with/without a title ring. For years his greatest asset to a franchise wasn't on the court. It was the booties in the seats he singularly generated, the jerseys he sold, the Question/Answer shoes people annually coveted for their feet. He was the guy that made it okay for young adults to fashion cornrows in the boardroom, to sport more than one diamond-encrusted chain around their neck, and to plaster tattoos all over their bodies without ever having heard of a Harley or a Davidson. On blacktops across America, his inspiration made dribbling around and crossing over opponents the competitive equivalent of dunking over them, making the idea of buying a mixtape of some little guy named "Hot Sauce", or plunking down forty bucks to watch some shorty named "Professor" actually sound like a good idea. Snaring AI and his ample posse to your club for an after-game party used to be kind of a big deal. Not being terribly "marketable" by conventional measures, he still represented Everyman for generations of impressionable young people seeking a courageous, driven superstar closer to their own size and build. Someone they could follow with unwavering allegiance, without having to, literally or figuratively, look UP to him. Beyond dropping 30 and 7 dimes and 2 steals a night and exacting his will on opponents despite being maybe six-foot tall in platform shoes, it's his cultural/generational significance to the NBA, and sports in general, that gets him into the HOF with ease. The NBA game has transformed even though AI's style has remained about the same. As was inevitable, his days of tip-dunking on Camby-sized players and being "the quickest cat on the floor" are long past. NBA "palming" rules sapped some of the early effectiveness of his wow-generating dribbling capacities. The shock of players at the so-called "1" position leading their team in PPGs is no longer there. Society has transformed even though AI's style has remained about the same. He's no longer a brash young'n... and neither are his diehard associates and fans. A player's sponsorship/branding of sneakers no longer generates surefire sales. The cash cats used to spend on flossin' and clubbin' now gets spent on children and mortgages. A dude with a tattoo scrawled on his neck in the street doesn't draw gasps or even attention anymore. And grown men with cornrows (receding hairlines be damned) are more likely to have a spot of gray in those follicles. When he was younger there was time to attempt to build (and rebuild) teams around him. No sensible GM can afford to do so at AI's age. He can be a keystone player now, but trying so hard to be a team's foundation is a concept whose time has past. GMs seeking his services are typically the ones whose attendance is faltering, hoping against hope that he'll produce a quick infusion of revenue for an increasingly-flawed team. That approach is no-longer wise in the long-term for NBA teams or for AI. Once he gets a ring, if he chooses he can leverage his sideshow persona to make more paper by going international. His body will have to hold up, but in a more spread-out offense he can put up 18-20 ppg for some Euroleague squad well into his lower 40s, and remain the biggest thing in town, for whatever that's worth. ~lw3

Let's not forget he got us the Gift that Keeps on Givin'... Zaza Pachulia. And he gave us the eternal memory of "The Handshake." BK > Babcock ~lw3

So long as it ain't like the Knicks' home schedule last week, I'll take it. The flying has to be awful, though. This is one of those trips where they like to blow it against Sacto but edge Utah and Denver. But winning in Motown would do wonders for momentum. ~lw3

A Quarter Century of Excellence. http://www.zazapachulia.com/ http://globalatlanta.com/article/17137/ Way 2 go, Zee Pee! ~lw3

Hawks-Bulls won a couple weeks back. No Lakers, Rockets or Cavs were around that week. ~lw3

Robinson: "I wondered why she kept on calling me 'Pumpkin.' NOW I know..." j/k ~lw3

He'll win by making all his buckets with three hands in his face. Part of the deal is if he wins, GEICO has to change their ads to, "So Easy, Even Zaza Can Do It." ~lw3

http://www.nba.com/FanNight/ A small but discernible electric shock befalls anyone clicking on "Minnesota at Washington". ~lw3

What's the Over/Under on the number of "NBA Coach of the Year" votes he'll trick people into giving him? ~lw3

The Falcons' two most notable stars of the past decade are momentarily behind bars. Peachtree Tavern, Jamal? Seriously? Bathroom Stall with another dude, Jamal? Really? What, are you running for Congress or something? Former Atlanta Falcons running back Jamal Sharif Anderson was jailed in Atlanta early Sunday morning after being charged with possession of cocaine and marijuana. Anderson, 36, and another man were arrested at the Peachtree Tavern in Buckhead early Sunday morning, Atlanta police spokesman Officer Otis Redmond said. Redmond said both men had powder cocaine in their possession and Anderson had a suspected marijuana cigarette in his pocket. http://www.wsbtv.com/news/18667067/detail.html ~lw3

AJC's despisal of the Knightmare was deeper than I could've possibly imagined. What a honeymoon for Woody and the Hawks on these editorial pages! To whomever is holding the real Bradley, and Moore, and their notoriously negative ATL-sports-drivel hostage, though, I'll pay ransom to keep them bound 'n gagged. ~lw3

"I LOVE FLAT BOOTYYYYYYYYY!! SHOW ME THE MONEYYYYYYY!!" ~lw3

I tried avoiding sippin that green-and-red KoolAid, then Solo swatted Session's forehead like it had the Commissioner's signature on it. If Solo is playing "frustrated" and can't get himself composed, then he needs to sit down and the team should put in ((shivers)) Randolph. ~lw3

Did somebody tell him it's Buck Season or something? His fouls tonight are like contract hits. ~lw3

Anybody know of a way to divvy up the (home vs. away) %Assisted stats on 82games.com? (Or just provide a link) It'd be good to reveal the stark differences. Meanwhile, thanks to the last two performances the Hawks remain 1st in the Eastern Conference in assists/game at home (25.0, now a hair behind the Nuggets in 4th) and last in the East (17.8) on the road, closing the gap with the Grizz in the race to the bottom. ~lw3

23 assists Sunday night at Philips against the Suns 7 assists Monday night down in Miami. Look out, Grizzlies, here we come! ~lw3

If the Hawks look a little different when they don't have their own fans influencing their style of play, it shows up in at least one stat. Our Fine Feathered Friends are currently third in the NBA in assists... at Home. 1. Jazz (26.1 dimes/game) 2. Lakers (25.3) 3. THE HIGHLIGHT FACTORY (25.1) 4. Nuggs (25.0) 5. Celts (24.0) On the Road, the Hawks clip their own wings, as they're next-to-LAST in Assists. 26. Clips (19.0) 27. Nets (18.6) 28. Hornets (18.6) -- gee whiz... who's THEIR point guard??? 29. HAWX (18.3) 30. Grizz (16.3) The Jazz are consistently ranked 1st in assists, regardless of home-and-away stats. While virtually all NBA teams have assist numbers that drop off when they hit the road, none display the precipitous Jekyll-and-Hyde passing performance like the Hawks have so far. It can't be explained solely on tighter defenses, as the Hawks are among the best at protecting the ball on the road (11.7 Turnovers/game, ranking 4th fewest, compared to 13.2 goofs/game at Philips). Perhaps too many isolation plays on the road? ~lw3

Referring to Woody's assertions, I don't expect Solo/RandMo to come in and be "world-beaters," by any stretch. I DO expect them to come in and be Scalabrine/MikkiMoore/MarcinGortat-beaters, though... so Hofo and Zaza don't have to.

Scouring through the NBA Team Differential stats. That they show the Hawks are typically getting out-rebounded is unsurprising, particularly with the nature of their player injuries. Besides the Hawks, though, the bottom ten for net rebounding reads like a bunch of lottery hopefuls. Bulls (-1.1) HAWX (-1.9) Wiz (-2.0) Clips (-2.0) Griz (-2.1) Raps (-3.1) Heat (-3.2) Kings (-3.7) Knicks (-4.6) GState (-5.0) Boston (+5.6), Cleveland (+3.2) and the LakeShow (+3.2) are among the top 5. Orlando's middle-of-the-pack, although they're top-ten in net defensive boards. I suppose when you're burying teams from beyond the stripe (+5.2 more Threes per game) like the Magic are, there's not much offensive boarding to do. ~lw3

(predicted cross-examination question) "So when Eddy asked you to 'come and touch it,' Dave, did you take that to be one order... or two?" ~lw3

And, perhaps most importantly anytime it comes down to Internet voting, no ROCKETS. Or Nets, for that matter. ~lw3