Insider Special: Good, Bad, & the Kitchen Sink

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The Good, the Bad, the Kitchen Sink

By Terry Brown

Monday, November 18 Updated 7:15 AM EST

Somewhere below Michael Jordan's 69 points in a single game but above the Dallas Mavericks averaging 51.7 points per half this year are the Denver Nuggets scoring 53 total points in a loss to the Pistons last Saturday.

We can only hope that Yao Ming, a perfect 9-for-9 from the field Sunday night for 20 points, doesn't think all centers not ending in O'Neal, Olowokandi or Leslie in Los Angeles are as easy to score on as Manute Bol with a hockey stick and skates.

True story.

The Good

Antoine Walker, Boston Celtics

Week's work: 2-2 record, 24.2 ppg, 6.2 rpg, 4.2 apg, 2.5 spg, 0.5 bpg, 6 triples on 48.7% shooting

Doing his best impression of teammate Paul Pierce without a true point guard or sixthman off the bench to help in the post. For his next trick, he gets Pierce to copy him copying him. They you try guarding the two.

Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers

Week's work: 1-2 record, 37.3 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 5.3 apg, 2.3 spg, 1 bpg, 2 triples, 43.4% shooting

Scored 92 points in last two games when 94 was actually needed while catching a split lip and chipped tooth for his troubles. Lots of harm, lots of foul, lots of blood . . . no foul. But don't think for a second he doesn't know exactly how many games Tracy McGrady won last year on his own (44) or how many points Vince Carter averaged on his own (27.6) the year before that or how many MVP Awards Allen Iverson won (1) the year before that.

Tracy McGrady, Orlando Magic

Week's work: 1-3 record, 35.5 ppg, 7 rpg, 4.5 apg, 0.2 spg, 0.7 bpg, 8 triples, 45.7% shooting

Maybe we should just etch this name into the glass screen of your monitor.

Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks

Week's work: 4-0 record, 23.2 ppg, 12 rpg, 4 apg, 2.5 spg, 0.5 bpg, 6 triples, 48.7% shooting

Spent all summer schooling poor, unsuspecting international players but didn't even notice when those opponents turned into NBA types. Hasn't scored 30 but once all season because he simply hasn't had to. Can't hardly wait.

Elton Brand, Los Angeles Clippers

Week's work: 1-3 record, 16 ppg, 14.5 rpg, 2.7 apg, 1.7 spg, 3.7 bpg, 50% shooting

Riding shotgun to Olowokandi in the post because the other way around wouldn't be half as effective for the Clippers even though Brand could possibly be twice as good.

The Bad

Mike Miller, Orlando Magic

Week's work: 0-2 record, 6.5 ppg, 8 rpg, 4 apg, 1 spg, 1 bpg, 1 triple, 23% shooting

They sure don't make the broadsides of barns like they used to.

Kenyon Martin, New Jersey Nets

Week's work: 2-1 record, 8 ppg, 4.3 rpg, 1 apg, 0 spg, 0 bpg, 37% shooting

The next steal and block that Martin gets next week will be the first he gets since the beginning of last week. Take off your shoes and try to keep up with the 14 personal fouls and eight turnovers and counting in between.

Hedo Turkoglu, Sacramento Kings

Week's work: 2-1 record, 5.3 ppg, 1.6 rpg, 2.6 apg, 1 spg, 0.6 bpg, 26% shooting

Mike Bibby has an excuse and a backup. Hedo doesn't even have a prayer. Currently, this all-around player couldn't rub Doug Christie's scalp and chew gum at the same time.

Dale Davis, Portland Blazers

Week's work: 1-2 record, 6.3 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 1 apg, 0.3 spg, 0.3 bpg, 69% shooting

When your supervisor isn't looking, take a glance at Jermaine O'Neal's numbers and try not to laugh too loud when you remember that's the stud Portland gave up to get Davis. On pace to record point and rebound lows in a decade.

The Ugly

I don't know if it was a bucket and a free throw, three free throws or one of their guys just booted the ball between the wires that hold up the shot clock at their end of the court, but on Nov. 12, 2002, in a game between the Clippers and Heat, the Los Angeles bench scored a grand total of three points of the team's 101.

The Kitchen Sink

GENTLE BEN

The easiest way to hear a 6-foot-9 muscled-up man cry for momma from the fetal position is to hand Piston center Ben Wallace the ball and tell him to shoot.

His first year in Detroit resulted in a modest 6.4 points per game followed by a career-high of 7.6 the next year to push his career average to 5.2 in six seasons. The reigning Rebound King and Defensive Player of the Year made up for his lack of offensive output in other obvious ways until the new year began with four points. He scored two in his latest game. In between he has averaged 4.9 points per game having yet to reach double-digits in 10 games.

At least he used to try. Last year, he averaged six shots per game, about a shot every six minutes of playing time. Over his career, he's averaged 4.2 shots per game or about a shot every 6.2 minutes. But this year, Big Ben is at 3.7 shots per game. He's taking a shot every 9.5 minutes of play.

Heck, if he hit every one, he'd still be scoring only about eight points a contest for a team struggling to reach 85 night in and night out.

Sure, he rebounds. Sure, he blocks shots. But four of the Top 5 rebounders in the league (not counting Ben) are averaging 15.7 points per game. And the two players right above Ben in blocked shots combined with the two players right below him in blocked shots are averaging 13 points per game. Brand is on both lists and he's averaging just under 16 after a very slow start.

In 10 games so far this year, Wallace is averaging 4.9 ppg on 46 percent shooting to go along with 13.3 rebounds and 2.7 blocks. The opponent's center is averaging 12.3 ppg on 51 percent shooting to go along with 7.3 rebounds and 1.6 blocks. We're talking about guys like Kurt Thomas and Pau Gasol but also Jaron Collins, rookie Nene Hilario and Greg Ostertag. Mark Blount outscored him 11-2. Shawn Bradley beat him 14-5. Jake Tsakalidas wrestled him to a 4-all draw.

Now, we're not about to compare Ben, who's playing a career-high 36.7 minutes per game, to Iverson (1 shot every 1.8 minutes of play or 22.7 per game) or even alter-ego Allan Houston (1 shot every 2.3 minutes and 14 per game), a guy who scores and little else, but it's been three days, the beginning of a new week, and Wallace has yet to make a bucket, having gone 0-for-3 from the field in his last game and 2-for-6 from the line.

I mean, if McGrady can score 47 in a single game, Wallace oughta be able to get off 49 for the season as we enter the third week.

TWO SHORT

Last year, Kobe and Shaquille O'Neal led all duos in scoring with 52.4 points per game followed by Boston's Pierce and Walker at 48.2. This year, Kobe and Shaq are at 31.3 with Kobe contributing right around 31.3. Pierce and Walker are at 44.3 while Orlando's McGrady and Grant Hill have taken over the lead at 51 even while Houston's Steve Francis and Cuttino Mobley are a three-point shot and 10 inches short at 48.

OVER THE HILL

Magic swingman Hill could miss his next 24 shots and still be shooting 50 percent from the field.

CORKING GARY PAYTON

He may be 39 years old by the time it happens, but in the year 2008, Seattle Sonic point guard Gary Payton will break John Stockton's single-season assist record, which currently stands at 14.5 per game.

Don't believe me?

After 10 years of averaging between six and eight assists per game, Payton handed out 8.1 in 2001. A year after that, he set a new career-high of nine assists per game. This year, he's averaging 10.4 (to lead the league) after posting a single-game career-high of 18 against the Rockets last week and 16 a few days ago against the Wizards.

In fact, Seattle is now averaging more assists per game than any other team in the league at 24.7 per game, but not one other Sonic averages more than 5 per game.

This guy is better than wine. He's also averaging more minutes, points, rebounds and blocks than his career averages despite playing in his 13th season. Do the recent math, project five years into the future and try to speak directly into his good ear.

A lot of scouts out there will tell you he's still the best defensive guard in the game. A lot of players will swear he still has the biggest mouth in the game. And a lot of statisticians will argue that he has never been better as a point guard and is only getting better.

KNICK KNACK

Kurt Thomas

This Year: 17.9 ppg, 10.1 rpg, 3.1 apg, 0.8 spg, 1.8 bpg, 50% shooting

Antonio McDyess

Career: 17.6 ppg, 8.7 rpg, 1.6 apg, 0.9 spg, 1.6 bpg, 49% shooting

COME OUT SWINGING

Sonics versus Mavericks: Saturday, Nov. 23 at American Airlines Center in Dallas

Let's see if the high-scoring Mavericks can actually guard a team that shoots the ball just as well as they do. Barring any upsets by the Shaq-less Lakers, Rockets, Magic and Blazers, the two hottest teams in the league could bring a combined 22-2 record to the floor.

THE END

"I just gave you a total B.S. answer. I don't know the reason." Indiana coach Isiah Thomas either attempting to explain the failure of the now defunct CBA under his ownership, why his Piston team walked off the floor without shaking hands with a victorious Bulls squad led by Michael Jordan or the Pacers' fast start sans Reggie Miller.