This is the funniest S I have read in weeks!!!

[Diesel]

Act One

Storage Room (aka Saint's office), Warriors Headquarters

Saint on the phone with Jerry West

St. Jean - Gosh Mr. West, we'd love to trade Dampier to you - he's having a heckuva season by the way - but I'm not in charge anymore. Mully has to approve the deal.

West - Everybody knows from reading the papers that Mully is just your understudy. You'll take Bo Outlaw and Ryan Humphrey and you'll tell the fans it's a heckuva deal because I told you to. And you better throw in that 2007 2nd round pick from Minnesota as well.

Saint - Well, Jerry, like I said, it sounds like a heckuva opportunity for us, but I gotta ask Mully (hangs up phone)

West - I'll have Saint bent over by 11:00 his time....

Act Two -

Mullin's office, Warriors headquarters

Saint - Chris, Jerry called us from Memphis with a heckuva deal for Dampier. We'd get an experienced power forward to pair with Cliffy and a heckuva young power forward prospect in Humphrey.

Mullin - Dammit Saint, it's bad enough that I have to go around in the press pretending that I'm learning from you, but then you waste my time with bullshit offers like that? Why don't you go back to your office and work on hitting that penguin?

Saint - But Chris, Jerry said this would be a great deal for us!!! He is the logo after all, so he wouldn't lie to me.

Mullin - Dammit Saint, you've been screwed by these GM's so many times that they don't even have to lube you up first. I'm making an appointment for you right now to go spend four weeks in a battered GM's shelter.

Saint - I promise I'll do better, Mr. Mullin! Just let me pretend I'm GM for a little longer!!!

Act Three -

Michael Heisley's office, Memphis

Heisley - So Jerry, did you get Saint to give us Dampier for our useless crap? ESPN says New York only has to give up Shandon Anderson and Mutumbo, we shouldn't have to even bother with giving them Humphrey.

West - Maybe Saint will go for Lorenzen Wright and a bag of Cheetos.

Heisley - You can send him Wright, but I don't want to part with the Cheetos.

West - Maybe I can send him some of that crappy Trail Mix instead.

Heisley - That sounds good.

West - Saint will fold any second now....

Act Four -

Warriors Headquarters 11:50 AM PST

Teleconference with Mullin, Saint, West

West - Sorry Saint, Heisley said the deal's for Wright and a package of Trail Mix

Saint - Hey Jerry, what's your second round pick situation look like in 2007?

Mullin - Sorry Jerry, my job is to keep Saint from making those crap deals anymore.

Jerry - The papers say that Saint's still your boss Chris. You guys will bend over like you always do.

Mullin - Suit yourself Jerry. By the way, do you really think Kobe's gonna come out and play for you just because you're the logo?

West - Screw you Chris. People didn't come to the Lakers because of Hollywood, the silicone chicks, or to play with Magic and Kareem. They came because I'm the GM. If you don't take this deal, I'm taking the Trail Mix off the table.

Mullin - Suit yourself Jerry. We'll just hold on to Dampier and laugh at you when you come begging to us in July for a sign-and-trade.

West - I'm not kidding. Saint, that Trail Mix is off the table.

Saint - I'll take Dean Garrett and a 2007 second round pick!!

Mullin - (slaps Saint)

Mullin - Bite me Jerry. You're getting nothing (click)

Act Five -

Memphis, 11:59 AM PST

West - Saint will call and bend over. He always does.

12:01 PST

Damn, Saint must've forgotten my number. Why didn't he call and take the Trail Mix?

[sfg4gsw]

sigh ... its funny for a fan of any other team, but to a warrior fan, its the sad, sad, sad truth. thank god those days are over. wait ... lets hope saint was behind that foyle signing.

[chillzatl]