In the warroom 2009

[Diesel]

Woody, Sund, and Sekou in the Hawks war room on draft day.

Sund: Step aside Gentlemen, today is the lucky day.

Woody (rubbing hands): Yeah, today is the day that we bring in our franchise player.

Sekou: That sounds good, so who is it going to be?

Woody: We can’t tell you. You’re going to leak it on that godforsaken blog.

Sekou: NO, I wouldn’t do that.

Sund: OK, well here’s the deal. In the second, we’re going with Siler.

Sekou: Drats… Bradley has already beat me to that one.

Sund: That doesn’t matter, you’re not going to report this anyway right?

Sekou: Uhm, Yeah, Right. Who’s going to be our first rounder?

Phone Rings. Sund pushes speakerphone

Sund: Hello?

Knight: Damnit Sund, I am tired of hearing rumors about you destroying my team. That is my team on the floor. That is my playoff squad. That is my dream that you are playing with.

Sund: Billy. Wait a minute! I have involved you on every decision. I have asked your opinion on everything we’re doing. Why are you so mad.

Knight: It’s the night before the draft. You got to stick with the plan. You need a guy that’s 6’9” and has a long reach and is very athletic. Just one more. Plus you need to bring back chillz and Marvin.

Sund: You know we really need a Center.

Knight: You don’t need a Center. Remember, this is my plan!!! You can play any of those 6’9 guys for a Center.

Sund: Billy, we don’t match up against the bigs of the league. Didn’t you watch the playoffs.

Knight: You know I watched the playoffs. You didn’t lose because of the bigs. You lost because you have a PG.

Sund: We like Bibby. He’s part of our future.

Sekou: Can I quote you on that?

Knight: You didn’t need a PG. We never needed on before! When I passed on Chris Paul and I took Marvin Williams, I put my stamp on this team. That stamp says, we don’t draft little people!

Sund: Without Bibby, we would have not made the playoffs at all.

Knight: Without Bibby? Without Bibby? You don’t need Bibby!! I’m tired of playing with you. Every time I look around, somebody is telling me that you’re trying to trade Smoove. Then you’re talking about keeping Bibby. Are you letting Woody run this team?

Sund: No, I’m the GM.

Knight: NO… I’m the GM, it’s my team. And I’m trying to tell you how to win… You can’t win without my strategy because I’m perfect and I have the perfect plan!

Sund: "Being perfect is about being able to look your friends in the eye and know that you didn't let them down, because you told them the truth. And that truth is that you did everything that you could. There wasn't one more thing that you could've done. Can you live in that moment, as best you can, with clear eyes and love in your heart? With joy in your heart? If you can do that, Billy, then you're perfect."

Knight: No, Perfect is me knowing that you are letting Woody destroy my team again. I trusted him in 2006 and he picked Shelden.

Woody: He was a good pick.

Knight: Shut up Woody. We should have gone with Rudy Gay.

Woody: We needed a Center.

Knight: Gay could have played Center. What’s a Center? Some guy who rebounds? Gay could have done that. I told you then and I was right.

Sund: Gentlemen, that’s the past. We don’t live in the past.

Knight: You’re right. We live in the present. And in the present, you better pick Derrick Brown!

Sund: Brown? Who’s that.

Knight: Brown is only the best player in this draft! He’s better than Rubio and Thabeet and that kid at the top of the mocks!

Woody: Don’t listen to this guy any more. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Knight: You know I didn’t say it all earlier. However, you lost because of a lack of offense. How’s that offense Woody? Have you thought of anything more creative than give Joe the ball?

Woody: Er?

Knight: That’s right… Silence. I became suspicious of you when you never had a play book!

Dominique, Gearon Jr. and Joe Johnson enter the room

Sund: It was nice talking to you, gotta go. Bye.

Sund hangs up on Knight.

Gearon: Alright, all press has to leave the room!

Sekou leaves.

Gearon Jr: So Joe, we brought you in here because we want you to know that we will do anything you want us to do if it guarantees that you come back.

Joe: Gee. Thanks.

Gearon Jr.: As a sign of our good faith, I have brought you here to discuss what you want!

Joe: I want some help.

Sund: What kind of help? Who do you have in mind?

Joe: Well, mainly, I don’t want to have the ball in my hands all the time!

Woody: What do you mean. That’s your favorite play. Joe Right! Joe Left!

Joe: No offense coach, but I’ve been thinking about it and Joe Right and Joe Left don’t work.

Woody: I know what you’re saying. You want me to add in a Joe Middle… I’ll get right on that!

Joe: No offense coach, but I don’t think that’s going to change things either.

Woody: How about Joe back and Joe Back and to the left!

Joe: Back and to the left?

Woody: Back and to the left? Let me show you.

Woody turns on the video screen.

Woody: You see here, this is you and you’re triple covered here. However, on this particular play, you went back and to the left and was open again. Back, and to the left... back, and to the left... back, and to the left. Back, and to the left... back, and to the left... back, and to the left.

Dominique: Coach that doesn’t make much sense. Back and to the left puts him at halfcourt.

Woody: But he can see the whole court from there. NO defense will triple team him from there. I call it J-BATTLE (Joe Back, and to the left). Defenses won’t know what hit them. When I hold up the double fist, that means J-BATTLE. Who says I don’t have a play book?

Gearon Jr.: So who are we picking?

Sund: I’m kinda high on Derrick Brown!

Gearon Jr.: Who is that?

Sund: He’s a Sf out of Xavier. He’s going to be a great player, probably the best player in the draft!

Joe: Can he run the offense?

Woody: We don’t need him to run the offense. We have J-BATTLE!!!

Gearon Jr.: What about a PG?

Sund: Well, we have Acie and we’re going to resign Bibby.

Woody: You’re bringing back Acie?

Sund: He’s under contract.

Woody: Let’s just trade him?

Sund: What’s wrong with Acie?

Woody: He’s one of these smart alleck kids. He comes in and tries to run pick and roll. I don’t have a pick and roll in my offense. I have Joe Isolations in my offense. Like J-Battle. Do you think that snot nosed kid understands J-BATTLE. Or FLIP ISO Left?

Sund: Maybe you could use him a little more often. He’s fast and he wants to play?

Woody: You just described my dog… and you know what, he’s in the doghouse too!

Sund: If this were boxing, you guys could fight it out.

Woody: If this were boxing, I'd be Muhammad Ali and I would float all over him.

Sund: Just be careful that he's not Rocky Marciano.

Woody: "Oh, there they go. There they go. Every time I start talkin' 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out their *ss. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano! Rocky Marciano!"

Dominque: Calm down Woody. We got the point. So are we looking at any trades?

Gearon Jr. Did you see that Washington just traded the fifth pick for nothing?

Dominque: The last time they did that, they sent Devin Harris to the Mavs?

Gearon Jr.: Well, Jamison is better than Nothing.

Joe: I'll say. Jamison is better than Smoove too!

Sund: Just say the word and I'll get Jamison over here and Smoove over there?

WHAT WILL JOE SAY?

Edited June 24, 2009 by Diesel

[tbhawksfan]

Don't know whetther to laugh or cry.

No wonder Sund needed a year to get to know the team. He didn't need to get to know the players, he needded to get a feel for the ASG and he looked at film of Woodson's coaching and the team's progress and said; "I haven't figured Woodson's coaching out yet. It must be good because the team improves every year under him".

A year later and Sund still doesn't know what the heck's going on. A year of closely watching Woodson's O has rendered him a complete Bball vegetable. he doesn't have a clue about who to draft because he doesn't know what Woodson is doing.

I'm not so sure about JJ's integrity, because as he left the room, Sekou heard him mentin to Dominique; "one more year of iso joe and I'll get another max deal for sure, thank goodness it'll be with another team, I can't take Woodson and the ASG anymore and all those teammates that expect me to pass the ball, they just don't know anything about Bball". Then as they walk off Sekou walks up to them and says "I think you guys are right, you the man".

[BigDirty]

Nice work Diesel. :thumbsupsmileyanim:

Edited June 24, 2009 by BigDirty

[Bahamut]

Knight: It’s the night before the draft. You got to stick with the plan. You need a guy that’s 6’9” and has a long reach and is very athletic. Just one more.

:lol6:

[Plastic Man]

J-BATTLE hahaha...another classic probably not far from the truth.

[Admin]

I swear it wouldn't surprise me to find out that you've been using the computer at the state mental facility all these years Diesel! :no-no:

[Guest]

Every time we near draft day, I look forward to seeing Diesel give us a sneak peek of the war room.

[NJHAWK]

I agree whole heartedly, DRAFT DERRICK BROWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont know about Thabeet but he is most certainly better than Rubio.

[AHF]

Every time we near draft day, I look forward to seeing Diesel give us a sneak peek of the war room.

Definitely. This is D's time of year!

[HawkItus]

Woody: He’s one of these smart alleck kids. He comes in and tries to run pick and roll. I don’t have a pick and roll in my offense. I have Joe Isolations in my offense. Like J-Battle. Do you think that snot nosed kid understands J-BATTLE. Or FLIP ISO Left?

I damn near choked on my spring water! :laughing5: