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Big Man Coach Job Ad

AnakinJoe

By AnakinJoe
in Homecourt

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AnakinJoe Newbie

AnakinJoe

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Here's the job listing that I found on the internet for the assistant coach position recently filled by Alton Lister:

“The Atlanta Hawks are looking to hire a qualified candidate to work with our promising big men with tremendous wingspans. We cannot offer a competitive salary nor more than a 1 year deal. Your employment may be terminated immediately based on an impending judge’s ruling. Current owners are cheap and incompetent SOBs who can’t follow a legal contract they helped write. Must be thick-skinned as our players have been known to curse-out their coaches. Candidate will be housed in the Philips Arena locker room as relocation funds are unavailable and the $8,000 annual salary is insufficient for private housing. You will join a coaching staff that has lost at historic levels and has approximately 10 months left on their contracts. Lateral moves to other franchises are not allowed, however, feel free to interview for other positions. Must be willing to room with other coaches during business trips. Please click here to submit your resume. The Atlanta Hawks are an equal opportunity employer. We have several mentally challenged employees throughout all levels of the franchise and look forward to discussing how your background can support the Highlight Factory as we Rise Up in our new uniforms”.

I understand that resumes were received from Priest Lauderdale, Ra’Sean Dickey, Pete Babcock, Karl Rove, Bill Campbell and Alton Lister. I applaud Woody and BK on making the right hire.

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