AnakinJoe Posted August 23, 2007 Report Share Posted August 23, 2007 Here's the job listing that I found on the internet for the assistant coach position recently filled by Alton Lister: “The Atlanta Hawks are looking to hire a qualified candidate to work with our promising big men with tremendous wingspans. We cannot offer a competitive salary nor more than a 1 year deal. Your employment may be terminated immediately based on an impending judge’s ruling. Current owners are cheap and incompetent SOBs who can’t follow a legal contract they helped write. Must be thick-skinned as our players have been known to curse-out their coaches. Candidate will be housed in the Philips Arena locker room as relocation funds are unavailable and the $8,000 annual salary is insufficient for private housing. You will join a coaching staff that has lost at historic levels and has approximately 10 months left on their contracts. Lateral moves to other franchises are not allowed, however, feel free to interview for other positions. Must be willing to room with other coaches during business trips. Please click here to submit your resume. The Atlanta Hawks are an equal opportunity employer. We have several mentally challenged employees throughout all levels of the franchise and look forward to discussing how your background can support the Highlight Factory as we Rise Up in our new uniforms”. I understand that resumes were received from Priest Lauderdale, Ra’Sean Dickey, Pete Babcock, Karl Rove, Bill Campbell and Alton Lister. I applaud Woody and BK on making the right hire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAWKEYE Posted August 23, 2007 Report Share Posted August 23, 2007 Ha! Ha! Ha! Stop it man you're killing me !!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premium Member mrhonline Posted August 23, 2007 Premium Member Report Share Posted August 23, 2007 When you put it that way, getting Lister should be considered a coup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pimp Posted August 23, 2007 Report Share Posted August 23, 2007 The only thing i know about Alton Lister, is that Shawn Kemp dunked him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atlien Posted August 23, 2007 Report Share Posted August 23, 2007 Quote: The only thing i know about Alton Lister, is that Shawn Kemp dunked him. Hmm. Looks like he'll give Smoove a good guy to practice posterizing on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johann Posted August 24, 2007 Report Share Posted August 24, 2007 Every now and then I run across something that tells me, in unmistakeable terms, why I waste so much time on here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johann Posted August 24, 2007 Report Share Posted August 24, 2007 It was kind of you not to specifically name Bernie when you mentioned the employees Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators AHF Posted August 24, 2007 Moderators Report Share Posted August 24, 2007 Outstanding satire! Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dsinner Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Quote: Outstanding satire! Well done. Satire?!? Boy, they're gonna laugh when they get my resume. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnnybravo4 Posted August 26, 2007 Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Alton Lister....What? Cherokee Parks wasn't available? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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