Gearon turning up heat on Woodson?

[mrhonline]

http://blogs.ajc.com/jeff-schultz-blog/2010/04/29/gearon-noncommittal-on-woodson-but-expects-hawks-to-go-far/

The Hawks’ owner had a five-minute, closed-door meeting with coach Mike Woodson at Philips Arena Thursday. Then he walked down a hallway and had a 30-minute meeting with general manager Rick Sund. Gearon said he showed up after practice only for moral support, and that his meeting with Sund was about matters other than just basketball. But let’s be clear here. Mike Woodson is in trouble.

Even amid his supportive comments about the team and noncommittal remarks about Woodson’s future, Gearon said this: “It’s our third straight year in the playoffs and we expect to go far. I’m comfortable saying that.”

[HawkItus]

Let's turn this into a little fun. Who can do the best write up what was said in that Gearon and Woodson meeting. I bet money something about switching D came up.

[dhawk]

Woody needs some heat. The way the Eastern Conference is aligned anytime a 6 seed is thumping a 3 seed, something is wrong. If this was the Western Conference with every team over 50 wins, you could look at it differently.

[tonegully]

well at least the owner is noticing this. Now lets see if he acts if Woody loses this series.

[Diesel]

Let's turn this into a little fun. Who can do the best write up what was said in that Gearon and Woodson meeting. I bet money something about switching D came up.

Gearon: What the hell was that?

Woody: What do you mean, we played good ball, we just had some mistakes down the stretch.

Gearon: We haven't made one adjust to stop the Bucks.

Woody: Yes we have. I have changed from using Iso Joe Left (IJL) to using Joe Back and to the LEft. (J-Battle).

Gearon: So you mean that you have Joe shooting from Farther out.

Woody: Damn Skippy. They can't gameplan for that.

Gearon: You're taking bad shots while we have Josh and Al and Marvin inside unable to take the easy ones.

Woody: We're not the Lakers!! We don't have Pau Gasol playing in the post. Whoose fault is that?

Gearon: Are you trying to say it's my fault.

Woody: I'm not trying. It's just a fact. You let FA after FA scape by and you hold on to your little money and then when we get to the post season you want to come in here and challenge me?

Gearon: If we were the Lakers, you would have been fired by now.

Woody: If we were the Lakers, i would have a PG who could play defense, A PF who could hit a three point shot, A Sf who.. Well, same problem... , But a C who was taller than the Sf.

Gearon: If we were the Lakers, you'd be sitting on the end of the bench as Larry Brown's assistant.

Woody: IF we were the Lakers, my team would play in front of a real crowd.

Gearon: IF we were the Lakers, I'd be getting ready for the second round matchup with the Celtics because we would have been the top seed and would have swept the first round.

Woody: On any given night, any one team can beat another.

Gearon: YOu told me that crap back when we had 13 wins. I'm not buying it now. We've invested too much into this team for it to go down like this.

Woody: Invested! I'm the lowest paid coach in the professional ranks. There are assistants who make more than I do. How have you invested in me.

Gearon: We stuck with you through some horrible seasons and through your poor play calling.

Phone Rings...

Woody: Hello?

Evil Belkin: Thank you Woody. Thank you for proving that Joe Johnson is not worth 70 Millon dollars and two first rounders. I told you many years ago that I would be proving right. Since BK is no longer around for me to torment, I will torment you.

Woody: Look fella, Joe has been a 4 time allstar.

Evil: That's and $2.25 will get you a cup of coffee.

Woody: Damn.. $2.25.

Evil: I live in Boston. Nevertheless, watch what a real team does against the Cavs. We.. I mean, the Celtics will punish them!!!

Hangs up...

Woody: As I was saying...

Knock on the Door...

Gearon opens the Door.

Fratello: Have you told him yet?

Gearon: NO......

Fratello: Oh... I'll come back ... but I have to tell you, this office is far too small. I'm going to need a big screen and a telestrator.

Fratello Leaves.

Woody: What was that about??

Gearon: Well, that's why I'm here. I believe in letting you play your way out. If we are going to give you a new contract, you have to go farther than you went last year.

BK Bursts into the Room....

BK: What the hell is going on!!! (Looking hard at Woody)

Woody: You said to me once, listing the four chief virtues: Wisdom, justice, fortitude and temperance. As I heard your list, I knew I had none of them. But I have other virtues,BK. Ambition. That can be a virtue when it drives us to excel. Resourcefulness, courage, perhaps not on the court, but... there are many forms of courage. Devotion, to my family and to you. But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then it was as if you didn't want me for your Coach.

BK: Oh, Woody. You go to far.

Woody: I search the faces of the gods... for ways to please you, to make you proud. One kind word, one full hug... where you pressed me to your chest and held me tight. Would have been like the sun on my heart for a thousand years. What is it in me that you hate so much?

BK: Shh, Woody.

Woody: All I've ever wanted was to live up to you, BK.

BK: [bK gets down on his knees] Woody. Your faults as a Coach is my failure as a GM. Come

[Gives Woody a hug]

Woody: [Woody hugs BK and cries] BK. I would have butcher the whole League... if you would only love me!

[Woody begins to asphyxiate BK while they hug, BK grunts and dies. Gearon leaves the room hurriedly]

[mrhonline]

[niremetal]

This has quickly devolved into the most disturbing thread of the year.

In all seriousness, the fact that this team is trailing 3-2 to the depleted Bucks - who everyone with a good pair of eyes can tell are inferior in both breadth and depth of talent - shows where the axe should fall first. Scott Skiles has gotten far more out of his team than Woody has gotten out of his. Period.

Edited April 29, 2010 by niremetal

[LouFan]

That was very entertaining. My God I am laughing. Good points though.

[TheTruth]

LOL, how funny and disturbingly humorous this thread is. Lol @ your Death at A Funeral reference.

[Dejay]

D, your 'storylines' never cease to amaze me; good job.... :thumbsupsmileyanim:

[HawkItus]

[Diesel]

The Players talk...

Al: He's suffered a defeat, yes, but... behind the walls Woody is regrouping.

Smoove: Let him stay there. *Let him rot!* Why should we care?

Craw: Because 10,000 Fans now stand between Woody and Milwaukee. We've sent him to his death.

Joe: No. There is still hope for Woody. He needs time... and a win on the road. We can give him that.

Smoove: How?

Joe: Draw out Skiles' players. Stop switching. Then we gather our full strength and play on the inside.

Smoove: We cannot achieve victory through inside play.

Joe: Not for ourselves. But we can give Woody his chance if we keep Skiles' Eye fixed upon our front court. Keep him blind to all else that moves.

Al: A diversion.

Craw: Certainty of death, *small* chance of success... What are we waiting for?

Smoove: Skiles will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait.

Joe: [knowingly] No, I think he will.

Up in Sund's Office...

Gearon: I saw it for myself, Woody killed BK.

Sund: Woody did not kill BK.

Fratello comes in....

Fratello: What's up? I just got your text.

Sund: He says Woody Killed BK.

Levenson comes in.....

Levenson: Did you mean to send that text to all the owners... You know that the others won't come.

Gearon: I was afraid... Woody Killed BK.

Levenson: Get the f--- out of here.

Gearon: No Seriously.. Not long ago, in Woody's office, he hugged BK and choked him out.

Nique comes in...

Nique: What happened to BK, he's slumped in the hallway. I don't think he's breathing.

Gearon: I told you.

Levenson: Oh My God.

Fratello: I'm going to call a doctor.

Gearon: You better call a detective.

Sund: So what should we do?

Levenson: Do you think we ought to just give him a new contract. He has improved over the last 6 years.

Gearon: Hell no. I say we give him nothing but Bullets.

Nique: : You're not a gangster. we're not. We're owners. We run a NBA team. I didn't come this far with you so you can prove you ain't no punk and die. What are they gonna put on your tombstone? "Here lies a man,43 years old. He died, but he ain't no punk." Hey man that's bullsh*t okay. You know when you die, when you're 89 got you're children and grandchildren around you're bed... that's cool. It ain't cool to die at 43.

Gearon: So do you have a better plan? I'm not paying him another dime....

Nique: Mike, do you still have those Italian girls who can make a man cry?

Fratello: Nique, we're not supposed to talk about that.

Nique: You got a girl who can turn him out?

Fratello: I have got a girl who is so good, if you threw her up in the air, she would turn into sunshine.

Nique: Good, send her to Woody with a camera phone.

Fratello: You mean what we did to Dennis Johnson that year.

Nique: Exactly, except this time I don't have to stand in the closet!!!

Knock on the door....

Sund: Who is it?

Doctor: It's the Doctor.

They open the door and Doctor J is standing there.

Sund: Are you kidding?

Dr. J.: What do you mean, Mike called me and told me to hurry over.

Knock on the door.....

Sund: Who is it?

Inspector: It's the inspector.

They open the door and it's Antoine Walker.

Sund: Are you kidding me?

Walker: Mike told me to hurry over, he told me there's a job for me.

Sund: Why him?

Fratello: He's inspector #8.

Sund: Oh God.

Walker: Seriously guys, whatever you need me to do, I will do it. I'm in the bit of a money pinch. I can work on Smoove's jumper. I can teach Joe how to do the Wiggle. I can give the fellas a pep talk?... Whatever you want, I just need 14 Million dollars.

Edited April 29, 2010 by Diesel

[AHF]

Good stuff D! :thumbsupsmileyanim:

[HawkItus]

choked on my breakfast sandwich reading this this morning. Great stuff.